Everything is screwed up. It’s so horrible, I can barely get up in the morning. This once-great country of ours, ruined I tell ya! I sob in my coffee cup every morning as I look at the barren wasteland. I burst into tears when I see the utter depravity all around me. The evil BushHitler Machine and the Global Warming and the Democratic Congress and the Muslim invaders and the Fundamentalist Christians and the atheists have destroyed it all beyond redemption. Plus the corporations and the big government.
The Constitution lies in tatters. The Bible has been obliterated. The flag smells of dog poop. Justice is destroyed. Piles of burning bodies lie all around me as I struggle just to shave my cheeks in my bathroom every morning. Murder, rape, and pillage are all around me as I step outside my door on my way to work, as the roving bands of gay-killers and other Xtianists seek to destroy everything that moves. Even if I should manage to escape death during my soul-destroying 12 hour morning commute to my 280 hour a week job, I must cope at the end of it all with with the body collectors yelling “Bring Out Your Dead!” when I get out of my car and step over the rubble into my inadequate house every night, where my harpy shrew wife awaits to yell at me yet again that I forgot to take out the trash this morning–and I weep in agony.
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